||The intersection between two
roof slopes where all the rain will eventually flow. It directs and
funnels the water down to the end of this valley where it will deposit
100% of this roof areas water either into a gutter, or on to the next
||A natural area lying between
||Utilizing the roofing shingles
as the primary waterproofing device. It is not advised in our climate as
this critical area can wear out too easily, look worn out quickly, or
allow water ingress before the roofing product life is over.
||A National Park area lying
between two mountains.
||A Metal Flashing is installed
with around 4 to 6 inches exposed between the two adjoining roof
surfaces. 100% of the rain and water will eventually enter this critical
intersection off the adjoining roof slopes...so make darn sure it is
installed with good material and good workmanship.
||A wide open natural area lying
between two mountains with free access.
||The bottom of the roof where
all the water will flow, and the gutter which will contain the water
flow and direct it to further drainage
||When someone is spying on
another person without their permission. You can get arrested for this.
||The intersection of two roof
planes coming together along the slope
||Someone who is really together;
or someone still stuck in the late 60's mentality.
||The peak where to sides of a
roof meet at the top
||Clint Eastwood made a great
movie called Heartbreak Ridge.
||The device which covers a
structure from above. It will support the roofing material and provide
the slope for drainage, as well as give the project its architectural
||Americans call it
||The waterproofing which covers
the above structure, protecting it from the elements. The texture,
style, colour, and thickness of the roofing materials will have a
major impact on the curb appeal and architectural look of the finished
||Americans call it "ruffing",
and Canadians think these Americans are talking about camping.
||The metal work or product which
waterproofs a roofing detail or roof intersection
||Another thing that one can get
arrested for... unless its your badge that's flashed.
||A requirement by most roofing
manufacturers to have minimum ventilation achieved for their warranties
to be valid. It is to release heat and condensation from the attic space
beneath the roof, which can damage roofing materials as well as your
structure. Most existing homes are under vented and do not have enough
devices to properly achieve a healthy home and a healthy roof.
||Something my spouse does every
28 days. I like to golf or work late during these periods of my life.
||A small device which allows
natural convection of moist or hot area to evacuate an attic. Normally
small plastic vents which offer only limited success in venting all the
attic space, unless you plaster the whole backside of a roof with these.
The same old argument, over,
and over, and ...
||A wind assisted, and convection
assisted static vent. Normally much more effective than a regular static
vent. Important to have dual stainless steel bearings to prevent
eventual seizure which will can create water ingress during wind-blown
rain. They should also be made of Aluminum to allow easier turning, and
are less apt to seize up do to rust.
Must be a duck after been shot by a hunter.
||Electric Power Vents are
thermostatically controlled to automatically come on and off when attic
temperatures reach certain pre-defined temperatures. They also may have
a humidistat to turn on the vent on when certain moisture / humidity
levels are reached in the attic. It will act as a large static vent
prior to powering on. A very functional and effective means of attic
||A group of wives during
one of their Power Lunches, usually complaining about their husbands.
||An effective way to vent moist or
hot air out of attic spaces beneath the roofing materials. Drawing air
(intake) from the soffit venting under the overhangs of the roof, ridge
vents provide a more consistent drying of the plywood all across the
roof surface. This convection process works free forever, as long as the
vents remain clear from dust and debris, and as long as the soffit vents
provide ample intake. The Ridge Vents can also add dimensional texture
below the ridge caps which can create a much more realistic shake-look
effect on Fiberglass Laminated Shingles.
See Pro-Design Caps.
Although not advised on low pitch roofs, with special detailing and
sealing, ridge venting can still be used.
||Standing on the top of the roof
and yelling out to the world your opinion in a clear strong voice !
||A device which is intended to
evacuate the rainfall and melting snow from the bottom of the slopes of
a roof surface.
||My ex-wife's major new goal in
her life to affect on my resources.
||Something more roofers,
builders, homeowners and designers need to specify , especially on flat
roofs and "built in gutters", to better evacuate the rainfall
off of roofs in our stormy high-rainfall area.
||Teenager's effect on the family
||Asphalt Rolled Roofing which is
normally reinforced with fiberglass or polyester fabric, and has been
"modified" by adding rubber or plastic modifiers to the
asphalt to improve the flexibility and performance of the product.
Usually applied by a roofing torch or asphalt adhesives by adhering tow
or more layers of product together.
The result of a sex change
operation, I presume.
|Self Adhered Membranes
||Replacement alternative for
Torch-On membranes. Reinforced Fiberglass and Polyester SBS Modified
membranes which can installed without the fire hazard of the roofing
torch used for Torch-On systems. Simply peel off the back protection
film and stick down the product with its built on adhesive. Applying
pressure with a large steel roller between each layer will create a good
roofing system with two, three, or four layers thickness. Just like
Torch-On the roof system has base sheets, overlayment recover sheets,
and cap sheets.
That guy in American Pie 2 had
some trouble with this.
||The modified membranes noted
above are heat welded together in two or three ply roof systems to form
the finished roof membrane covering low-slope and flat roofs. Many
roofers no longer carry valid insurance for the fire hazard this system
can create during the installation processes. Most manufacturers of
Torch-On now require the first base sheet layers to now be self-adhered
membranes, and no longer permit direct Torching to wood substrates.
Caution. Caution. And make sure someone has valid insurance before
allowing this to be installed and risking a fire that may burn down the
Something a pyromaniac gets a
kick out of.
Insurance companies are learning to live in fear of these
||Usually made from cedar, these
are hand-split from raw cedar blocks, preferably along the edge
grain. Hand Split shakes are usually made from better raw material than
cedar shingles as it takes older growth wood to successfully make good
hand-split wood shakes. Split shakes are almost always better than sawn
If you have these consider
attending an AA meeting
||The wood version is sawn from
raw cedar blocks or logs. It doesn't usually require as old of growth
wood to produce these completely machine made sawn products. Most
"shakes" being installed in South West BC are in fact "Tapersawn Shakes"
which are shingles in disguise, and often cup, curl, warp and check long
before they start to rot.
My grandfather said he got
these. I assume that is why he had trouble sitting for long periods.
||For the last fifty years or so,
the most popular roof covering material. They are usually made from
asphalt bitumen covering a roofing matt. The older style shingles were
"duroid" or paper based mats, which in our region tended to
curl up at the edges. The new way of building shingles for better
performance is utilizing fiberglass or polyglass mats. All these
"mats" are run into a rolled roofing which is then chopped
into a variety of shingle styles.
After three or four drinks in a
bar... what many guys are hunting for.
||A version of the asphalt
shingles noted above which take two or more chopped shingle shapes,
laminate them together with roofing asphalt, to form a dimensional
shingle with an architectural look.
The flooring guy keeps trying
to sell me these. So does those countertop guys.
Now the roofing guys
are all trying to sell me these too ?? !!!!
||An important and functional
back-up water-shedding system, often required on most low slope and
steep roof systems. From simple roofing felt to fancy SBS modified
membranes, the underlayment can make the difference between a good
performing roofing system, or not, as well as a warrantable roofing
system, or not.
Lingerie, I presume.
timers say they never used underlayment in the old days. But times have
changed and so have roofing system designs.
||A designer element which allows
natural light to reach the inner structure of a building through a
roofing surface. Most are curb mounted skylights made from double glazed
glass attached to an aluminum frame. These curbs are waterproofed and
flashed by the roofing material installer.
That moving marquee of light
which I used to spend many nights driving toward to see what new movie
premiere or car lot was opening.
||A new device which is simpler
to install, similar to a B-Vent Flashing, which delivers natural light
to the rooms below the roof surface. A light dome is installed over
mirrored pipe which reflects the light down to diffuser mounted in the
||An underpaid and under
appreciated installer of roofing products. He climbs up great heights,
with its associated risks, to carry out his waterproofing tasks and
||That device which installs the
wax prior to a painful removal process.
||Something that one presumes is
done in great detail, to check if the workmanship and the materials meet
the requirements of the building code, and the manufacturer's
recommended installation practice.
||Something I have to do every two
years to see if my car is exhausting too many pollutants... and it costs
me $48 !!!
||The result of poor workmanship
on a roofing installation, or a failing roofing product component.
After 4 beers, a necessary
|Another layer of bureaucracy
which works hard to avoid paying out for legitimate worker
injuries, and works even harder to fine and cause grief upon thousands
of construction site workers and companies.
For you Americans...think OSHA.
|If your contractor does not
have WCB that is current and in good standing, and one of his workers is injured
on your property, you may be personally liable for the costs of his
||Normally refers to converting a
cedar shake roof to a fiberglass laminated shingled roof system.
A religious experience.
that thing we Canadians get ripped off with when we fly south each
winter. An American conspiracy perhaps, as they keep coming north to
enjoy cheap summers and winters at discounted dollars. Now Americans are
mad at conversion rates as well now that the Euro converts higher than
the US Dollar.
||A written document which
clearly spells out the work to be performed, the materials and
application methods to be installed, and the value which will be paid
for such services.
||A written document that you
darn well better have, unless you're thrilled with "Russian Roulette",
even if you trust your contractor.
||A company or individual that
writes a written document known as "the contract", and is
responsible for performing the work noted in the above contract in a
responsible diligent manner.
That guy who still hasn't shown
up yet to start or finish the job.
||The person for which the
roofing contractor expects will pay immediately for work completed as
per the contract, as the contractor is not in the financing business.
The Boss. Yes me, the customer...the guy who's
footing the bill.
||A registration of claim against
the title of the property when work or materials are not paid for.
||A structure which is not built
on a solid foundation and according to code will do this in a few years.
||The mechanical fastener which
will hold the roofing material to the structure.
||The end of the finger where
many teenagers spend endless hours artistically decorating their
||The rain and water penetrating
the roofing system, also known as a leak.
||A water foul, I presume.
||Usually referring to the
concrete roof tiles which are installed as a great looking roofing
product. Some of the longest lasting tiles are made from Glazed and
Baked Clay tiles, and have shown they can last for hundreds of years.
Concrete tiles can be very troublesome unless installed with better
roofing practice than is the norm for today's market. They have had
leaks inside of 5 to 10 years in our region, often due to cheap vents,
penetration leaks around pipes and flashings, as well as bad detailing
in built in gutters, and lack of proper anti-ponding materials at the
Lots of concrete roof tiles are being replaced around here that are
only 20 to 30 years old, even though the manufacturers suggest they have
50 year or Lifetime Warranties.
Concrete or clay roof tiles are breakable and you should avoid
walking on these roofs.
Concrete tiles are better value than cedar shakes,
correctly. Clay tiles are better value than concrete tiles in our region
(if you use good clay such as MCA Clay Tile) considering how long they
look good and perform compared to typical concrete tiles. Unfortunately
clay tile such as MCA is sold out and not currently available in our
region without more than one year's notice, if available at all.
High Definition and
High Performance Architectural Shingles such as Presidential TL Shakes, Grand
Shakes, Centennial Slate, or
Carriage House shangles are far more walkable than concrete roof tiles,
and can provide a better long term solution, and yet they still have an
executive class style and texture that can compete with concrete roof tiles.
Concrete Roof tile is better value and far better in architectural
style than a 30 year or 40 year Laminated Fiberglass Shingle roof. The
concrete roof tile will add real higher intrinsic value and real estate
sales potential ( a higher price !) to your completed home or project.
|Scrabble players covet these.
||The side edge of a roof which
drops vertically over the fascia.
These gables should have "rake edge"
metal installed for further water ingress and wind protection, as well
as covering up new plywood layers added during "shake roof conversions".
|Anne of Green ...
||The board structure of the face
of gables and the front of the eave of the roof. We can make fascia
cover metal in our custom sheet metal shop to clad the fascia and give
you years of no painting required satisfaction and savings.
The area which continues to wrinkle more each and
every day on my wife.
Note to my honey:
No dear, you still look
like you are under twenty...really dear !
I know your almost
fifty, but I swear you look not a day over seventeen !
Now... do I still have
to sleep on the couch ?
||The result of roof leakage, or
the lack of effective eaves-trough devices.
|Drip Edge Flashing
||An under-appreciated metal
flashing which improves the weather protection of roof edges and eaves
from wind-blown rain and capillary water seepage. 49 of the 50 US States
require its use, but here in the "rainforest" climate of this
region, roofers rarely install it unless requested to by builders or
Remember, of all the rain that hits the roof, 100% of
it is evacuating the roof at the eave on sloped roofs. Better
protection in this area is always desired.
A "T" shaped metal drip edge can help support the shingles from
drooping over the gutter and ruining the realism of the "shake-look
shingles". It is also mandatory for high end thicker shingles such as
Landmark TL and Presidential TL, as their installation instructions
demand only a 1/4" overhang. In the Pacific Northwest and Southern BC
regions it is essential with our rainfall to therefore have a "T" shaped
metal drip edge to assure water protection in this zone.
My ex-spouse showing off way
too much skin to the guitarist during a U2 concert.
|Florida's Dade County Rules
Stronger severe weather requirements for roofing materials in a severe
weather storm-prone zone.
||If you have been watching
"Invasion" lately, its the new rules for the "newcomers" in the Miami
Dade County area to not make it obvious there are actually disgusting
squids occupying the body underneath the attractive skin of all the
Contractors that come and go with the wind, arriving into town soon
after a storm to reap the rewards of massive re-roofing activity. They
also tend to leave soon after as well. Long term labour warranties are
probably more reliable if offered by local roofers and in-place to stay
||The squids are creating an ever
increasing amount of hurricanes down in Dade County, increasing their
population of newcomers. The show "Invasion" has theories that are
making me paranoid about all the real storms down there near Miami.
Perhaps the aliens were responsible for the Florida "chad" controversy,
voting in their favorite alien Jeb Bush.
worker learning the trade. Hopefully you have more than just an
apprentice installing your roofing materials, as experienced installers
are needed on the job as well to better ensure a satisfactory completion
of a roof system.
||Donald Trump's famous show
allowing us to watch a group of people squirm, maneuver, and suffer
until the inevitable firing of all but one.
Usually made from recycled rubber tires and plastics. A synthetic roof
system that performs best when made as individual sized smaller rubber
shakes or slates, rather than 'panelized" 3ft wide-format shingles.
Wide-panel type rubber shakes or slates may fade leaving obvious
rectangular shaped deviated shapes in the roof that are unsightly and
unappealing, where normal sized smaller width shakes or slates still
look natural. Also wider 3ft panels of rubber shakes may expand in
dimension and create buckled roofs or "unlocked" wind tabs.
Nervousness about safe sex.
A residual product from oil. Asphalt Bitumen is one of the leftovers
after gasoline and many other oil products and chemicals are processed
from the bunker oil. This heavy sticky product might go to waste if it
were not for road-building asphalt or uses by the roofing industry.
Shingle manufacturers "blow" asphalt and add mineral fillers to create
the asphalt which they produce shingles and other roofing products from.
Some asphalt shingle manufacturers create better performing grades or
recipes of roofing asphalt than others. Although this asphalt is the
primary waterproofing of any roofing shingle or membrane, some
manufacturers add more "filler" to their asphalt, thus lowering their
costs and their selling price, but unfortunately lowering the quality
and durability of the roofing material.
||We learned recently that
methane gas, given off by the sewage treatment process in some cities,
is harnessed to use as energy during the creation of asphalt roofing
shingles. So the next time you take a dump, remember you may be helping
build your local shingle roofing manufacturer's products, and be proud
about it. You can point to local shingle roofs and say ... I helped
build that shingle!
Copper is encapsulated into granules that are added to shingles, to
reduce the algae-staining occurrences on the shingle roof. The target is
the air-borne algae (black) that discolors or makes streaks on asphalt
shingle roofs. Some manufacturers, such as Certainteed and Malarkey, add
a greater percentage of these copper granules than other shingle
manufacturers, and thus offer far greater algae resistance properties
and are willing to offer 15 to 20 year warranties on the algae
resistance . There are others that actually only put in a minute or very
small percentage of the copper or zinc, and then only offer a 5 year AR
warranty, when in fact most shingles won't show algae growth in the
first 5 years anyways.
||The Creature from Lost Lagoon
and Invasion's squids both seem to be algae resistant.
Moss tends to grow on algae.
A rolling rock grows no moss.
Copper granules release an electrostatic charge that
resists algae growth.
Manufacturer of high quality laminated shingles using the patented
"Zone" wide lap technology, as well as "SBS" Modified Asphalt shingles.
When someone says I am full of malarkey... it sounds
like they think I am full of B.S.
I actually really do have a large
inventory of malarkey!
metal roofing panel with stand up seams that you nail or screw down in a
hidden nail flange, and then you "Snap" down the next panel onto the
previous one. A very durable roofing system. Also available with
separate clips for greater expansion of longer panels.
When my wife "vents", she usually "snaps" and then
"locks" the bedroom door.
Pneumatic Air driven fasteners can really speed up the job of applying
shingles, but may lead to warranty nullification if the applicator does
not properly place the fasteners in the specific area required by the
shingle manufacturers. Currently, Malarkey and Certainteed allow for the
easiest and fasted power nailing because of their wider nail areas on
their laminated asphalt shingles.
A trip to Hugh Hefner's mansion on a Saturday Night
may lead to these circumstances.
||Typically a square of roofing
indicates 100 square feet. A roofer estimates how many
"squares" he will need of roofing materials, and how many
"squares" he will need to install. This usually includes the
field area shingles or tiles, as well as the materials needed to cover
the hips, ridges, and starter course.
...do I really have to say
Form a 90* angle with your thumbs and forefingers,
together in opposing positions,
and point to the conservative chap
sitting across from you who doesn't appreciate your upbeat music tastes.